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At the parts counter:
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Customer:
Where was this part made? I don't want anything made in China.
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Me:
I have no clue, GM sources their parts from a variety of manufacturers around the world.
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Customer:
Well, it says Detroit right here.
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Me:
Yes, that's the location of GM headquarters.
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Customer:
Well, it says Kalamazoo right here.
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Me:
That's where the cardboard box was made.
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Customer:
Well, what if I buy and it's from China?
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Me:
Uh. Literally nothing will happen. A majority of your car is built from parts produced outside of the United States.
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Customer:
Oh, well i'm not okay with that.
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Me:
Hello, parts.
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Customer:
I need a manual.
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Me:
... Uh, okay, for what sort of car?
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Customer:
Chevy.
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Me:
... Okay... What sort of Chevy?
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Customer:
94.
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Me:
Alright... Chevrolet had quite a models in 1994, could we be slightly more specific?
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Customer:
I just said, it's a 94 chevy. I need a manual.
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Me:
... ... Umm... that's discontinued.
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Customer:
Man, whatever. *hangs up*
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At the counter:
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Customer:
I need some of these. *drops something on the counter*
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Me:
Ummm, alright... That's an interesting looking... clip? I haven't really seen anything like that before, what's it for?
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Customer:
Vertical blinds.
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Me:
... ... As in, for your house?
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Customer:
Yeah, he told me I could come up here and get some.
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Me:
For vertical blinds? No, I'm sorry, this is a Chevrolet dealership, we don't sell parts for vertical blinds.
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Customer:
I wanna talk to your manager.
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Me:
He'll be in on Monday, but he doesn't sell parts for vertical blinds either.
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Me:
Hello, parts.
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Customer:
You are open today.
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Me:
Clearly.
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Customer:
*hangs up*
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Me:
Hellllllo, parts.
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Customer:
Man, gimme one of them squirters.
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Me:
... ... what?
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Customer:
My car need a new squirter.
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Me:
... ... Ooookay. What kind of car do you have?
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Customer:
02 Impala.
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Me:
And you're looking for a washer nozzle?
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Customer:
Naw man, I don't need the nozzle, I need the squirter.
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Me:
Aren't those the same thing?
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Customer:
Naw man, the nozzle is that part that sprays on your windshield. The squirter is that part that sprays on your windshield.
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Me:
... Okay, yeah, I'm really confused now.
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Customer:
Man, I'll just call someone else.
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Me:
Hello, parts.
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Customer:
Hi, I need a lower Pentium intake port. You all know what that is?
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Me:
Nope.
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Customer:
Either do I. I'll call you back.
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At the counter:
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Customer:
I need to get one of these over here. (Points to a hat in the display case).
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Me:
Absolutely, let me get that for you. (Grab it from the case and give it to him).
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Customer:
Alright, well, how do I?... How do I?... (Looking at the hat).
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Me:
How do you what? It's a hat... you just put it on your head.
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Customer:
Oh. A'ight.
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At the counter:
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Me:
Hi, is there something I can help you with?
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Customer:
Yeah, you can get me the parts guy.
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(Long pause)
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Me:
Yeah, that's me.
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Customer:
Oh.
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At the counter:
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Me:
Hi, can I help you?
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Customer:
I need control arm bolts for a 03 Tahoe.
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Me:
Alright, let me check. *Looks them up* Yeah, we have those, they're $3.60 each.
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Customer:
Gimme two.
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Me:
You got it, one sec. *Runs in back and grabs them*
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Customer:
Well where are the nuts?
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Me:
You didn't ask for nuts.
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Customer:
I know I didn't ask for 'em, but you shoulda brought 'em anyhow.
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Me:
Helllllo, parts.
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Customer:
Is it too late to get two of 'em?
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Me:
Ummmm... What?
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Customer:
Tires, I need tires for my car!
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Me:
Okay... What size tires are you looking for?
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Customer:
Ohhhhh, lord have mercy, I don't know.
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Me:
Well, what kind of car do you have?
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Customer:
It's a 708.
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Me:
Yeah, that's not a car.
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Customer:
Oh, jesus christ.
